Take Our Daughters and Sons To Work Day
Do we ever have some fun activities lined up for my girls this Thursday!
(My daughters, that is - usually when I say "my girls" I'm referring to a portion of my anatomy; but nothing fun seems very likely to happen to them any time in the foreseeable future, particularly not on a Thursday.)
The list of presentations and activities for the kids was sent out this afternoon. I have to say that some of them appear more likely to engage the attention of little ones than others: the "Puppet Show about bicycle safety, buckling up, street signs, etc.," for instance, will probably draw a somewhat more enthusiastic crowd than "Introduction to Construction and Maintenance Contract Qualification, Bidding and Contract Award."
Then again, as Bill remarked, my kids may come home with a working knowledge of how to broker under-the-table deals - always a useful skill.
Several of the entries appear as if no one bothered to spell-check them, or indeed gain more than a rudimentary grasp of English before writing them. "Description of how to bridge a built and DVD on spaghetti bridge building," for one, while not entirely comprehensible, should make you think twice about driving on grade-separated intersections for a while.
(That particular presentation is actually being put on by Human Resources, from whom illiteracy can be expected as a matter of course.* Still, my engineer friend Heather once remarked casually as we drove over the bifurcation between the eastbound and westbound flyovers from I-35 to Hwy. 71 - a project in which she had been involved - that she had never quite figured out exactly what was holding the structure up.)
There's a "Roll Over Convincer demo," described as intended to "Educate public of dangers of not buckling up," being held in the parking lot. Robbie thought maybe the kids should wear helmets for that one.
And there's also one on how to become a car dealer in Texas, which is just great. As if our children's future weren't bleak enough without the prospect of them becoming car salesmen.
Conspicuous by their absence are presentations on chain-smoking, fending off unwelcome attention from creepy guys, snazzy fashion tips for creepy guys (bright colors are your friend!), working with obsolete technology, and going on break. Without these, the kids will never get a real feel for what it's like to be a state employee.
Once the official activities are over, I'll bring Katie and Anna along on break. See, girls? This is what Mommy does all day.
*Except of course for Greg's wife, and any HR personnel who may stumble across this and consider Dooce-ing me. You guys are the greatest! Remind me to buy you a drink sometime!