Cognitive Dissonance?!

All day I've had a word on the tip of my brain, and have been so exceedingly distressed by my inability to remember exactly what it was, that I haven't been able to get anything done. I knew it was a word I had read on Steve Burns' web site; but he's updated the site and it no longer appears there.

Hooray for the Wayback Machine!

Yet I'm strangely disappointed. I expected to see the word and know it instantly, with a big, wonderful, joyous, thrilling "OH YEAH!" And instead it's actually a two-word phrase; and I just knew I had at one point used the word in my blog, but apparently never did; and there's no brilliant flash of recognition; and for heaven's sake, no wonder I couldn't find the word in my next-door-cube-neighbor friend's thesaurus.

I still feel like it was something else, something more, but I know now that it never was. And I grieve for the lost wonder of discovery.

Can we have a moment of silence here?