The Good Life

One, people who die should not talk to you after they're dead, because it freaks the shit out of you.

Not that they meant to. Today I called my ex-mother-in-law to tell her that I'll be picking up my son (who lives with her) from the airport tonight on his return from Manila. My ex-father-in-law, who passed away last April, answered the phone. "You have reached [their phone number]," he read off in a slow, measured, carefully-modulated tone (which, actually, he did use in real conversation during real life, because he was kind of weird that way). "Please leave your message after the tone."

My stepfather kept my mother's outgoing message on their voicemail for as long as he lived in their house. I guess I got used to it after a while, but it didn't sound like Mom: stiff, stilted, trying to speak clearly, professionally and coolly, since she ran her piano studio out of her home. In real life she was usually giggling.

Maybe she'd have laughed at the voicemail too, later. The first time I called and heard it, without warning, perhaps a month after she died, I took it like a punch to the gut, hung up the phone without leaving a message, and sobbed for an hour. There was no other recording of her voice, that I know of. Maybe four months ago my stepfather left the house and the phone number and moved on. It must have been erased now.

Two, my son is returning home tonight from a one-week trip to the Philippines - Manila, where some six months or so ago, he met a girl online. She's 24. He's 18. Am I thrilled about this? Not so much. Nonetheless, he saved up his money for the trip, he doesn't live with me, he's - more or less - an adult, or at least working on becoming one, in his own particular way. I want him to be happy. She does seem like a nice girl, and teaches English to Koreans over the phone. Most importantly, he had a wonderful time, learned from an experience I've never had (I have never been overseas - never!!) and he's coming back, tonight. I'm picking him up at the airport a little after midnight. He left Manila at 7:40 p.m. yesterday, my time. He's likely to be a scoche on the tired side.

Three, I am a scoche on the tired side already. Life is easy: friends and kindness abound, I want for nothing, even this weird leprosy shit on my neck and arm seems to be finally clearing up. But I'm just not happy. I'm tired. I'm sorry, I'm just ready for things to be a bit better soon, please, please?

Graveyard Shift

The biggest problem with working nights isn't really exhaustion, or disorientation, or having your eating and exercise schedule completely thrown off, or missing your children and friends, or not being able to remember for sure what day it is, or even being forced on occasion to sit through Fox News, which as you may have noticed I am somewhat bitter about.

No, the biggest problem is when you stumble out of the shower and accidentally start putting on toothpaste instead of anti-perspirant. It really stings.

But I'm minty fresh!

I Just Work Here

So I got out of the office at 6 p.m. today; I'll be working 3 p.m. to midnight tomorrow, and probably 7 p.m. to 8 a.m. Sunday/Monday and Monday/Tuesday. Then Gustav makes landfall, and then things start to get crazy.

It's been a long, long week, and there's no weekend in sight.

Not that it's really so bad. (Ask me again in a couple of days.) This is the un-fun part of the job, but every so often there aren't any hurricanes; it's meaningful and helpful; I'm not facing it alone; and I'm pretty certain that my bosses are happy with me and that their happiness with me is in direct proportion to how good a job I'm doing - which is a darn sight more than I could say at some places I've worked. And the rest of the time? Fun!

But the forecast models predict a very low possibility of going on break any time next week.

We have this 1-800 number you call for road conditions information. We've been working on finding a new vendor for the system; my cow orker who primarily deals with it is a former employee of a major phone company, and really knows his stuff. There are a lot of features we're looking for that my cow orker feels the new vendor might not be able to address adequately. Like the hearing-impaired line.

How, I asked in our meeting, is this such a problem? They just call the special number and hear: "HELLO!!! WELCOME TO THE ROAD CONDITIONS HOTLINE!!!!! IF YOU'D LIKE TO BE SHOUTED AT IN SPANISH, PLEASE PRESS 1 NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, SNL already did that.

It's time for a nap; if somebody would send me an economy-size spray can of Gustav-B-Gone, I'd be grateful.

The Plot Thickens

Okay, the hotel only looks like that because they ripped off the edge of the awning so they could build the new one. It really is on the way! Really!! That's why all the hotel staff are wearing safety vests, though they aren't wearing hard hats, Robbie.

They're going to have sleep number beds in every room, too. God, how I wish they had them now. My bed is so hard that last night I dreamt I was being chased by zombies and ended up having to sleep with all the lights on.

Next door - you walk under the railroad trestle to get to it - is the convention center, which we visited today, where extensive remodeling is well under way. It's going to be beautiful, and it's going to offer 21,400 square feet of - say it with me now - flexible meeting space!

That's a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in meeting planner circles.

Here are a few other things we saw today (and pictures will just have to wait until I get home to a more powerful computer, sorry):

The Cactus Hotel, built in 1929. It was the fourth Hilton hotel - ever - and has an opulent tiled lobby, grand staircase and mezzanine, and incredible, beautiful ballroom on the second level. It's haunted, I expect. But it's used as lofts and office and retail space, plus private function space now, not as a hotel.

Paint Brush Alley, murals by local artists on the walls and windows of an alleyway, and part of a citywide mural art project. Some downtown buildings now being used as warehouses also have trompe l'oeil paintings on the windows of what the shops and restaurants inside once looked like. Very cool.

Painted doors - a series of painted doors hung on an outside wall downtown, also part of the outdoor urban art project.

The Texas Theatre, currently gutted and undergoing restoration. Actually, I thought it was cooler to see it like that, with the seats all pulled out and exposed brickwork, than to see it when it's finished - though I'm sure it will be beautiful; the cornices and moldings are very elaborate and you can tell it'll be amazing when it's done - along the lines of the Paramount.

Legends jewelry store, where they sell (among other pieces) jewelry crafted from the local pink, lavender, and peach Concho pearls, and also gold and silver horny toads ("horned lizards, my ass, they're horny toads" was almost, but not quite, what the proprietor said about their name).

Miss Hattie's Bordello Museum. Bet you can't wait for those pictures! All the ladies' boo-dwahs are lovingly restored, though the mannequin who normally stands in the window was lounging about on a red velvet chaise longue in her black lace skivvies, today.

Eggemeyers General Store. You can't get much more general; they have everything, from - well, they have lots of stuff. Handmade jams and jellies, 8-foot black iron wind chimes (which made me think of Robbie), you name it. Also, there are airplanes hanging from the ceiling. We didn't get to spend enough time there.

D'Vine Winery. We didn't sample the wine, but it's a beautiful place - maybe tomorrow I'll stop in and get a bottle or two to take home.

M.L. Leddy's boot and saddle shop. They also have belts! Founded in the 20's in Bryan, the store moved to San Angelo in 1936. The Fort Worth location came later, even though that's now the headquarters. The factory is adjacent to the shop and is walled with glass so you can see the work being done. It smells deliciously leathery!

The Celebration Bridge over the Concho. The bridge is attractive - it's such a pretty river - but I loved the statue in the water, the Pearl of the Conchos, a pretty bronze mermaid. She's topless. Come to think of it, she's bottomless too, but the bottom half is a fish so who cares? Anyway, I got a picture.

The San Angelo Museum of Fine Art. This is a gorgeous facility, which is all I can really say about it because actually I don't care much for museum art. I know, you thought I was all cultured and shit. Mais non! But I was in raptures over the mesquite parquet flooring.

Old Town - This is like Heritage Village in Corpus, y'all. They took a bunch of historic houses and buildings and moved them to one central location. They have offices in them, though - I don't know if the ones in Corpus are used for anything.

Santa Fe Depot Railway Museum. My favorite of the day, because they have not one, not two, not three, not four, but actually I lost count of how many huge, beautiful, detailed, elaborate model train sets, with the bridges and the tunnels and the cliffs and the little trees and houses?! Oh my god. SO totally cool!!! I took lots and lots and lots of pictures here, and not one of them is going to show how awesome the place really is. I like trains.

Fort Concho - we didn't actually see very much of this, just the visitor center in the barracks, the stables, and the commissary. You'd need a whole day to go over it properly, because it has a couple of museums on the grounds, too. I have to admit I liked Fort Ontario better. Fort Concho might want to consider building earth berms with catacomb-like tunnels around the complex, and maybe putting in a major inland lake. But it was still very interesting.

The Chicken Farm Art Center. This is an artists' commune which used to be, believe it or not, a chicken farm; there's also a very small restaurant on the premises which is supposed to be excellent, the Silo House. We saw some spectacular pottery and sculpture (I like this kind of art), some of it whimsical, some sublime... and the cats roaming the grounds are very friendly. What more could you ask?

Let's see, then we had lunch at the Butler's Pantry, a tiny little restaurant in an old house where you have to have reservations no matter when you go, because otherwise they won't be able to fit you. We all had stuffed fried avocadoes, Robbie. Wish you could have been there!

Then there was, let's see, the tour of the hotel with the description of the renovations - oh, those beds look like they're going to be so nice - and then the convention center.

The International Water Lily Garden is gorgeous, and the lilies are beautiful, but some of the pads look almost industrial. There are these gigantic ones that fold up around the edges like three-foot wide dinner plates, and have thorns on the bottom so fish can't eat them. On the grounds around the lily ponds were some cacti that made me think of Robbie.

The Angelo State University Planetarium was another favorite - well, there wasn't a lot that I saw that I didn't like, but I really really liked the Planetarium, and the railway museum. They didn't turn it on for us - but it was really cool just being in there, and hearing the professor talk about it. They're hoping to get in some new equipment, and as soon as they do I might make a trip just for that.

Lake Nasworthy, and the ASU Lake House - we visited the house as a potential dinner venue. You can see the Twin Buttes across the lake. They don't look like buttes, they look like - well, anyway.

The San Angelo Nature Center. This was a fascinating place with a trail by the lake and lots of exotic small animals on display - tarantulas, a chincilla, rattlers, a very restless lynx, lots of turtles, Tony! and horny toads! and so many snakes!!! One was a gigantic python named Baby; curled up in her tank, I couldn't tell how long she was, but she was easily as big around as my thigh. She eats rabbits and wild pigs and small deer. You all know who that made me think of.

That was all for today. I'm sorry to report that we rather anticlimactically had dinner at Cheddar's, then wound up with a spot of shopping at Payless and Wal-Mart, I'm sorry Billy. But tomorrow we're visiting a monastery and it turns out they have a pretty strict dress code for their female visitors, for which my hasty Tuesday morning packing job did not prepare me.

Tomorrow, Scarlett, is another day. But that bed's not getting any softer.

A Suffusion of Yellow

Surprise! I'm in Amarillo!

Well, at least it's a surprise to the people my boss and I came here to see. I personally was not all that surprised, though I was surprised enough to neglect to bring a camera. That wasn't really so much a matter of surprise as it was of the house being very dark and everyone being asleep when I left, and the camera probably being under Katie's bed, full of yet another 872,564,931 MySpace vanity shots.

My boss picked me up at the office at 6 this morning, and we flew Southwest to Amarillo via Dallas-Love Field. I'm not as afraid of flying as I used to be, for a few years, but am still deeply distressed by turbulence, which I'm pretty sure is caused by malevolent airborne demons who grab the plane by its wings and bounce it up and down. I was sitting next to my boss, at that, so I had to act calm: never let them see the whites of your knuckles.

The sky seems unnecessarily large here, but at least it's nice and cool - and it's a dry cool, too. The geography is interesting. Our mapping group at work depicts the Amarillo area as dotted all over with small, ovoid lakes - or ponds - or puddles might be a better word. But from an aerial you just see that the ground has lots of strange little wet depressions. What's up with that?

The best part of the trip so far was flying over Palo Duro Canyon, which rips through the otherwise featureless landscape just to the east as if some monstrous creature had clawed the smooth flat earth open. Also, I think I might have recognized, from the air, a couple of towns with highways whose designations I worked on. So I guess I know the area better than I realized. Or else it's just that, if I worked on highways in two towns in the vicinity of Amarillo, and I saw two towns in the vicinity of Amarillo out my airplane window, the statistical likelihood of it being the same two towns is pretty darn high. There isn't a lot out here.

There is, however, a hotel with actual working free wi-fi (remind me to post a good review of the Ambassador; it seems to have gotten some bad rap lately) and a steakhouse. Huzzah!

Ooh, and the bed is nice and soft and amply bedecked with pillows. Thank God. I was up before asses even had cracks.

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Not really, I've been doing so much, like, omigod you guys, I am sooooooooooooo tired.

Okay. Tuesday I was on by 6:30, breakfast at 7, on the buses at 8, 7 stops and 3 drive-by tours, lunch and dinner, coordinating videos and step-on guides on the bus and making announcements, back at the hotel at about 9pm, check my room set-up for the following morning, go find a banquet manager to make a small change, visit the hospitality suite, back to my room about 10pm.

I was wiped, if you can believe it. Oh and get this, they delivered bed down gifts Tuesday afternoon and they left my door unlatched and the sleeping room doors are not self-closing - in fact they swing open - so I get back to my room at 10 and the door is just wide open. Hello! iBook on my desk and iPod in my backpack and all!! Thank goodness nothing was messed with, but we're having a little word with the hotel about that at the post-con.

Okay. So yesterday it was general session in the morning, and I did not hate the speaker anywhere near as much as I expected to - she was actually pretty funny - but still a motivational speaker, so it can only be so good of course. That being over we boarded the buses and went for lunch, an afternoon of quickie little tourlets, and a dine-around with a couple of bars downtown. This was really fun. Saw a gator wedding..

Now, there were three buses, right? Mine was Gator Green. You have to come up with a cheer. Not my idea; cheers never are, but my boss' boss was on my bus and she was pretty insistent, so we came up with, and last night at the final bar performed, in a cheer-off with the other two buses, which I would like to point out that we won, the following:

Clap four times and shout, "Go Green!
We're hot! (We're hot!)
You're not! (You're not!)
We're mean! (We're mean!)
We're green! (We're green!)
That's right! (That's right!)
We got bite! (We got bite!)
So get back on your bus! And don't you mess with us!
Don't be a hater, cause we're the Green Gators!
Na na na na, na na na na, Green Gators, Number One! (repeat a few times)
Woo Hoo!!! (etc.)

Okay, so we did that at the bar, but there were a whole bunch of us - a busload, not to put too fine a point on it - but back up to yesterday morning, when -

Okay, I'll continue this later, I gots ta go, yo.