Graveyard Shift

The biggest problem with working nights isn't really exhaustion, or disorientation, or having your eating and exercise schedule completely thrown off, or missing your children and friends, or not being able to remember for sure what day it is, or even being forced on occasion to sit through Fox News, which as you may have noticed I am somewhat bitter about.

No, the biggest problem is when you stumble out of the shower and accidentally start putting on toothpaste instead of anti-perspirant. It really stings.

But I'm minty fresh!