A Cautionary Tale

"serious stress solution is sex on my desk," read one of the first sentences spelled out in the corporate-themed magnetic word set that the evil president of the evil internet marketing company I worked for in Corpus put on our breakroom fridge. Disgusted, she threw away "sex," but it didn't do any good. We were hired for creativity, after all, and they were putting us all through hell.

Our office was terribly modern: bright colors, glass-and-chrome desks, IP phones and laptops for everyone, and we used MSN Messenger for internal communications. Giggling, I changed my IM tagline to "in need of a serious stress solution." But within minutes, I got an IM from one of the web design guys, a few doors down the hall. "Feeling stressed?" he wrote. "I have a solution."

Oh no, I thought, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. Is he hitting on me?!

"His name is Jesus Christ," he typed, and I almost screamed.

Questions for further study:

1. Would it have been better if he had been hitting on me? Why or why not?
2. Would sex on a glass desk actually help relieve stress? I mean, what if the desk broke? That would suck.
3. Use the words "cross-functional," "synergy," "office," and "client" in an extremely naughty sentence.
4. Aren't you glad you don't work in marketing?