These Boots Were Made For...

Getting a new pair of shoes is better than sex.

What a crock! Of course it isn't really, but in some people's case it's about as close as they're likely to get. And actually, new shoes are better than any sex some people have had in recent memory - "recent" being a highly relative term, in this case, roughly translated as "taking place during the current Presidential administration."

Not that I'd have firsthand knowledge of that or anything.

Of course, you can't just come out and make a statement like that anyway. A pair of penny loafers won't do anything much for you. Tennies are nice and practical and comfy, but there's not too much satisfaction in acquiring a pair. So many shoes are just so heartbreakingly practical, I can't even understand why anyone would buy them at all. But these - these are a pair of drop-dead sexy, knee-high, spike-heeled, stretchy black faux leather boots in brand-new condition, mislabeled as a size 10 but they fit me perfectly, discovered today at Goodwill for only $9.99. How perfect is that?!

I don't know about you, but I think I'll take it as a sign.