What To Do?

Recently I changed my preferences on Monster.com to send me job listings in Austin instead of in Syracuse, NY. Not that I'm looking for a new job, of course. Frankly, I suspect that if I were, Monster would not be the ideal place to look.

Syracuse is a beautiful town, if you've never been there. It's green and leafy, with attractive shops, wooded lanes wending their way up hills, and lots and lots of charming old houses with steep, gabled roofs and cozy glassed-in front porches. The steep roofs are to make sure the snow slides off without piling up enough to do structural damage, and the glassed-in porches are because it's too cold to go outside for much of the year. But on a cool September day, through the dappled sunlight dancing through a canopy of green, to the eyes of a visitor from a place where the temperature has been 100 degrees or higher every single day for over a month, it's terribly picturesque.

My father and stepmother live in Syracuse - they are both native upstate New Yorkers, though my dad has spent most of his adult life elsewhere. I probably flatter the region somewhat by associating it so strongly with them. When I visited late last summer it seemed like a paradise on earth. I really hoped I could move my family up there and get one of those adorable porticoed houses on a hill, and get to see my parents at least once a week, as my stepsister and stepbrother do; and have the benefit of their knowledge and experience and love in helping raise my kids, the way my stepsister does.

The logistics are incredibly forbidding, but I haven't stopped wishing for that - although much of the edge has been taken off by moving back to Austin from Corpus. Don't get me wrong - there are some really wonderful people in Corpus. I should know, because I'm close personal friends with all ten of them. (Hi guys!)

But being in Austin, I did finally get around to updating my Monster.com profile, and I have been getting such exciting and sincerely worded offers as the following:

Hello,

You posted your resume on Monster.com. Looking over your resume, we noticed you have a lot of leadership skills. We are currently expanding in the Austin Market and think you could be a potential prospect for our company.

We are an International marketing company in need of people in sales, marketing, and leadership. As opposed to calling you out of the blue I wanted to e-mail you first. The best way we communicate is over the phone.

Please call us directly at the number below so we can discuss your resume qualifications and opportunities with our company.

Sincerely,

(Some Dude's Actual-Sounding Name)
Associate Partner
(Some Random Initials)
(A Phone Number That I Bet Is Answered By a Recording)

*Due to the high demand and limited space in our office, your selected resume(s) will be removed from our data base after 72 hours of inactivity.

Gosh, I guess I better hurry up and call right away, then. Wouldn't want this one to slip by.

Actually, I think it's pretty sad when you can look over a letter and instantly identify the mail-merge fields. Which either means they could really benefit from someone with my particular skills, or they really don't want such a person. My experience in working, in various positions, for various different companies and agencies, over the past eighteen years or so, would suggest that the answer is probably both (sigh).

Can I just move back home and live with my parents? I'm tired of being a grown-up.