Honest Feedback

Boo for interminably long, completely unnecessary training sessions.

Hooray for training evaluation forms!

1. Was this training helpful to you?
No. The information presented in this class was so incredibly basic and self-explanatory that anyone who answers "yes" should be fired on the spot. In fact, I'd be tempted to believe that's the whole idea behind this, and that this whole training process is merely a clever device for weeding out some of the more egregious morons who work here, except that (a) I still see so many of them continuing to roam the halls, and (b) the manager who came up with this program is the biggest one.

2. Would you recommend this training to others?
I wouldn't really bother speaking to anyone who might benefit from this training, as such a person probably couldn't communicate much beyond pointing and grunting. Moreover, since you idiots require this class in order for us to be granted access to a basic software tool we need to do our jobs, it's not like anyone has any choice in the matter anyway.

3. What can we do to improve?
Well, you could fire your entire departmental staff and start over from scratch. I believe if you check behind the dumpster at the Wendy's down the street, you'll find several significantly better-qualified candidates. They smell nicer than a few of you, too.

4. Which topics in this class should be covered in greater depth?
I really didn't feel there was adequate time devoted to explaining the techniques we need to understand in order to wipe our own butts. Perhaps you could write detailed instructions and post them on the inside doors of the restroom stalls. Just be sure not to use any big words (see answer to question 2).

Oh wait, I forgot: you guys don't know any big words.

Additional comments:
You all owe me an hour and a half of my life back - an hour and a half I could have used for something marginally more productive, such as performing my job duties, or reading an article on advances in dredging technology, or picking my nose. Never again will I be as hopeful and idealistic as I was 90 minutes ago. You can pay me at my normal rate; you can pay me overtime; you could even offer me hazard pay. But you can never restore my innocent faith in the basic concept of human intelligence.

Okay, so that's what I would have liked to write. Unfortunately, the training staff used the new software we were covering in the class to generate the survey form, so it didn't work.