You Don't Need to Exorcise

While eating at my desk today, it occurred to me to wonder: Why do we automatically assume demonic possession is a bad thing?

I really need to quit bringing soup for lunch.

But when you think about it, not all demonic manifestations are so terrible. Levitation would be cool. And being able to crawl up the wall on your back. That sort of trick would be great at parties, and if you were possessed of an entrepreneurial spirit, you could easily land paying gigs. And just think how the athletic possibilities could spice up your love life. Hell, if you hung out on the goth scene, you could get laid any time you wanted.

You'd want a lawyer to check over the fine print, but I don't see why a deal couldn't be worked out. It would be pretty simple: the demon doesn't do anything to get you fired, disowned, dumped, or socially ostracized; and you don't call in the Vatican. I'm sure the demon would be willing to give up a few of its less pleasant manifestations, and maybe relinquish control part-time, in exchange for greater public exposure and attention, which is all the Dark Side really wants anyway. Take a look at reality TV if you don't believe me.

Think about it! And eat your soup.