Internet! Also, IKEA.

*lies prone on the cyberfloor, gulping the sweet, sweet cyberair in great cybergasps*

That was a rough couple of days. Well, okay, one day.

I'm actually mooching off of a neighbor's wireless signal. Time Warner came out and set up our cable, internet, and phone at the new house this afternoon, so needless to say they don't work. We're way over on our cell phone minutes, so we couldn't stay on hold long enough to notify them about the problem and have them come out to fix it.

The landline, you know, doesn't work. But these are some of the hazards of moving; some of the lesser ones, I might add. I'm speaking as someone who did indeed break two nails, not to mention totally ruining my manicure! And we're not done. This weekend won't be fun. Does anybody know how to get an oven all clean without, you know, actually touching it? Or putting on (shudder) rubber gloves? Eeewwww.

Today at four, my friend Robbie came into my cube, which I've been cleaning out today. (We're moving at work, too!) "Come to IKEA with me!" he said winningly.

"I can't, I'm here till 5," I told him.

"Our boss snuck out early," he pointed out.

"Let me get my purse," I said.

Let me tell you, I was absolutely thrilled that Austin was finally getting an IKEA of our very own. That was before I actually went there for the first time today. I think the one in Houston might actually be closer. But I was delighted to see that a certain item of furniture on the showroom floor was correctly labeled a chaise longue. So much for the silly notion that they don't read my blog!

The couch I'm sitting on right now is from IKEA, as is its twin across the room. So are the coffee table, the entertainment center, and the two bookcases that flank it. The sofa table and the dining room table and chairs are from IKEA. The posters on the wall are in IKEA frames. My dresser and nightstands and Eric's bed frame are from IKEA. My silverware and many kitchen utensils are from IKEA.

These were acquired over the course of many years, by the way - I didn't go all crazy and buy all this stuff on my trip with Robbie today! I know they flat-pack all their furniture, but come on, he drives a Mitsubishi. I bought curtains for the living room.

The best part of the trip was that we went through the self-checkout, and Robbie discovered that a vase he had picked up did not have a bar code on it. There was no way in hell we were wandering back into the maze to try to find another one like it. The attendant, who was friendly and helpful and apologetic, spent ages trying to find the code to punch in for it, and called over three other employees to help. Meanwhile, every 60 seconds or so, the autoteller would inquire, "Do you wish to continue with your purchase?" After the seventh or eighth time we were picking up a distinct edge to her voice. "Hey, asshole, why are you just standing there like a moron?" we expected her to say.

But she didn't. Maybe another five minutes would have done it. Fortunately, the checkout attendant finally found the code, punched it in, and sent us on our way.

Thank God, because I was dying to get home and see if I could find some internet. Maybe tomorrow I can finally post a picture of the house. I bought yellow-and-blue double-A batteries for the camera at IKEA.