Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Four Mosquitoes of the Apocalypse

Terrible things happened to me on this most inauspicious of days.

The set of highway construction plans I'm working on doesn't seem to contain any horizontal alignment data. The plans spell out precisely where each point of curvature and point of tangency is; but nowhere can I find the delta, degree, tangent or length of these curves; and on several of them it doesn't even bother mentioning the new baseline bearing after the point of tangency. I'm thinking of tracking down the P.E. whose seal appears on the plans and giving him a good whap upside the head. The engineering firm who drew up these plans is a subsidiary of Halliburton, incidentally; and if Dick Cheney isn't the Antichrist, I'd like to know who is.

Also, today I discovered that my coworker doesn't have enough magnetic "P"s for me to spell out "We put the 'Pro' in 'Inappropriate'" on his cabinet.

And finally, while I was sitting by the creek this evening, listening to the iPod with my knees hugged up to my chest, several mosquitoes bit me in places I cannot scratch in polite company.

So how was your day?


At June 07, 2006 9:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! inapPROpriate mosquitoe bites always make me laugh.

At June 07, 2006 7:03 PM, Blogger southboulevard said...

It's settled...I'm buying you some magnetic letters! Hmmm...I may just happen to have an extra P on the fridge...

At June 07, 2006 10:23 PM, Blogger LoriLaurieLauri said...

I've just been speed reading your blog-my first visit here-and I am laughing so hard I cannot even begin to tell you about all the cat shit at my house I've been dealing with...for a freakin' week! So...as much as I know you want to hear this story, I'm just gonna leave it at this...my 2 kittens (one we went out and adopted from SA Animal Control, a month ago, and another we found on a very busy road, who is so little we have been bottle feeding) have a bacterial infection. But, they are on the mend, and have gone from constant leakage to what the vet calls "soft serve". lol!

I know you just asked about my day, but...that's my week. Also wanted to say that I'm just down the road from you, in San Antonio. And I love Austin dearly!

At June 07, 2006 10:50 PM, Blogger Bill D said...

My day was pretty mild yesterday. I only sacrificed 666 goats, drank the blood of 666 chickens, and played 666 songs backwards for prophecies!

At June 07, 2006 11:32 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Well Bill, maybe you can step it up a bit next millennium.

And no post about the Apocalypse would be complete without a comment about soft-serve butt cats. (I'm glad they're on the mend!)

My mosquito bites itch.


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