Saturday, June 03, 2006

Going Downtown

Another great thing about being back in Austin is that I have a gynecologist called "Buzz."

Seriously, I love Dr. Bushart, who's been my doctor for the past thirteen years or so - minus a 5-year gap since Anna was born and I quit my job and didn't have insurance, then moved to Corpus and was too heartbroken (or lazy) to bother finding another doctor while I was there. I just made an appointment for a check-up since I have insurance again.

Buzz is a great doctor: he's informative and respectful and kind and extremely good-natured and funny. He's also absolutely dishy - although contrary to what SNL skits featuring Alec Baldwin would have you believe, most women aren't looking for that in a coochie doctor. We like to be sexy around the men we find attractive, and let's face it: a buttless cotton shift and a pair of stirrups aren't sexy. Having your hoo-hah jacked open with a cold metal speculum isn't sexy. I mean, I guess it might be for some people - and those people are about to start googling their way to my blog in droves - but I am not one of them.

You'd think I've made it a personal mission to disappoint perverts. Well, if I'm not having any fun, I don't see why you should either, you sickos!

So anyway, I'm actually kind of dreading this upcoming visit because Buzz told me, when Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer, that I should start having mammograms at 35 instead of 40. I haven't had one yet, so presumably he's going to schedule my first. I cannot even tell you how much I don't want to do this.

Can't I just get a preventative double radical mastectomy instead?

But I'll be glad to see Buzz again; and hopefully everything's still in working order downstairs.

Oh, and I almost forgot: this post is probably a little TMI for some, so you might want to stop reading now.


At June 03, 2006 9:20 AM, Blogger Robbie said...

Don't worry about your visit. The Pucker Possey is behind ya! Hope this doesnt sound bad.....

At June 03, 2006 10:59 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Ah yes. I wanted to spend my Saturday morning cleaning sprayed coffee off the iBook.

At June 03, 2006 11:45 AM, Blogger southboulevard said...

robbie is right, the Pucker Posse is with you. They are kind of like angels...they follow you wherever you go. Unlike angels, the Pucker Posse hides out in your purse, under your dress, and in the begonias.

At June 03, 2006 8:25 PM, Blogger Beth said...

If my husband ever reads this, I gots some serious 'splainin to do.


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