Free Condoms!

*NO PARENTS PLEASE*

(Mine, I mean. I don't care if other people's parents read.)

I used to get free condoms at People's Community Clinic near campus. They were red and yellow and green and blue, individually wrapped in clear packaging. I kept a bowl of them by the bed. You could throw the used ones onto the roof of the frat house next door. I know that sounds kind of rude, but you had to, really. Otherwise the cat would eat them.

Don't even go "eewww!" at me! It's not my fault cats are disgusting!

It's been a long time since I had to think about such things, but I've been browsing over this excellent and very informative link today. I have an IUD: go me! Next best thing to surgical sterilization, baby! And, after reading over this site, I've arrived at the conclusion that all teenaged girls should be mandatorily fitted with one. Whyever not? If she wants to have a baby, she can have it taken out. With her boyfriend's mother's written consent.

For all the options out there, I'm still kind of disappointed there isn't more. When I was a mere slip of a girl, I was quite fond of the sponge; but it's not really effective enough (91% if used perfectly?!), and though they tout it as inexpensive, it's really quite pricey. $2.50 apiece, more or less? When you're in your teens and early twenties, running pretty much on undiluted hormones, that adds up real fast.

There's a female condom out there now, which was being talked about back when I was, um, maybe a little more active than I am these days; but it doesn't sound like loads of fun. Kind of like lining your hoo-hah with Saran Wrap. Hormonal injections, implants, and rings have come on the scene. They all make you fat and moody.

Do we need this? No.

Nowadays there's the morning-after pill: beauty! It costs about 50 bucks a pop, which should (but won't) make your average teenager think twice, or three or four or eight or seventy-three times, about damning the torpedoes and going full speed ahead. Still it's a damn good option to have available, I must say, and it was pretty well unheard of when I was a girl.

Whatever you choose, it's important to be protected. Because pregnancy leads to babies. Which become teenagers. And if you thought popping into the community clinic to grab a handful of condoms for yourself was embarrassing? Well!