Why Genius Never Sleeps

I'm always misplacing items - aren't you? You know, things like the key to my bike lock, a DVD case, the stereo remote, Anna's hairbrush, my phone, my earrings, the magazine I was planning to sit down and read, the shoes I wanted to wear today, etc. They turn up, but not until you've ransacked the house, pulled apart the sofa cushions, rudely disturbed the new life forms that had established a largely peaceful civilization under Katie's bed, and scandalized the cats. And it's tiresome, and these things are generally missing right when you're in a big hurry for them.

So wouldn't it be nice if these objects were redesigned to be a little easier to find? All these items should be equipped with flashing LEDs so you can spot them easily. And in case they're covered up with clothes or under the furniture, they should also be able to emit a loud beep.

But if you had a remote paging device to turn them on and off at will, that would also get lost in no time flat. So the LEDs should flash and the items should beep constantly at all times, and they'd all have to be extremely bright and extremely loud so you could see and hear them over all the other flashing and beeping things, you know?

This is going to make everyone's life so much easier.