Will Paint Unidentifiable Objects on Your Child's Face for Free Beer and a T-Shirt

So Diane, Robbie and I go to the Wednesday night volunteers' meeting, at the Dog and Duck, for Eeyore's 44th Birthday this upcoming Saturday. What a totally happy, Austin experience! There's nary a non-weird person to be seen; and everyone is filled with such an excess of goodwill that female strangers cheerfully take turns guarding the men's bathroom for each other. (What? There's a long line for the ladies' room, and there are plenty of trees on the patio.)

The main volunteer slots open are for face painters, which is kind of sad if you think of the children. Look: Just have your kids ask for something easy, okay? Rainbows, flowers, butterflies, things like that. Spiderman in full web-swinging action? Hell, it's your $3.

12-2, y'all, if you want to come out and get your face painted. I believe the Complaints Department is at the other end of the park.