Saturday, November 01, 2008

Chocolate for Breakfast

It's been a few years since I went out for Halloween, but apparently the current rule is that all adult female costumes have to incorporate thigh-high stockings and stiletto heels, whether or not this actually makes sense. Dorothy has a short blue-and-white checked dress with thigh-high white stockings and red stiletto heels. The little Bavarian maid has long blond braids, an off-the-shoulder blouse, a short, laced, ruffled dress, thigh-high stockings with bows at the top, and stiletto heels. The winged-fairy Devil has a short red-and-black dress, thigh-high fishnets and stiletto heels. Raggedy Ann has red yarn hair under a ruffled cap, a short blue dress, thigh-high red-and-white striped stockings, and stiletto-heeled Mary Janes. If you're Priscilla Presley, you can substitute white go-go boots for the stockings; but there was also a SpongeBob Square Pants at last night's party, and the way you could tell is that she had a SpongeBob T-shirt over her short skirt, thigh-high stockings and stiletto heels.

I must have been subconsciously aware of this requirement, but at least mine made contextual sense. My costume was a white button-down Oxford shirt open to the waist with a black lace bustier underneath, a necktie, a briefcase, a short skirt, black fishnet thigh-high stockings and stiletto-heeled black boots: I was a corporate whore.

I brought Katie to the party. She was a football player. In other words, she had pads and a jersey, black paint under her eyes, a helmet and a football tucked under her arm, a short skirt, thigh-high stockings and stiletto heels. Maybe she'll gain more of a sense of context as she gets older.

What I really wanted to be was a 70's roller-disco queen - much more original, in that it has Daisy Dukes with pantyhose and wheels. I had everything I needed for the costume, except the skates. Well, maybe next year.

We met up at the winged-fairy-Devil's house to get ready; and thank goodness we did, because the Devil immediately perceived the need for some judiciously applied glitter to my decolletege, without which I would hardly have been complete. Cheryl's Bitch had been planning to go as a fireman, but couldn't find any pants; so at the last minute, Katie and I found ourselves smearing green makeup all over his well-muscled chest and neck, back, stomach,shoulders, arms, and legs. Now, there's a family activity for you!

Halloween is lots of fun, only you have to watch how much of the spoils you eat for breakfast the next day, or you won't have the legs for it.

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