Monday, August 04, 2008

Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Hurricane

As if it weren't bad enough that Texas is getting back-to-back hurricane action, I really take issue with the names. Dolly isn't even a real name (it's a nickname for Dorothy), and I'm sorry to report that some of my dearest friends were reduced to making terrible Broadway jokes. As for Tropical Storm Edouard - that's a good enough French name; but this morning, half the people in my office couldn't figure out how to pronounce it.

French, and headed for the eastern Texas coast? I do believe that'd be a Cajun weather system. Sacrebleu, y'all! Couldn't we at least get two letters of the alphabet off?!

Here's a better idea, for you brainiacs at the National Weather Service: How about you name the first tropical storm of the season Zelda? That way, you know, you can't have any more. How hard is that? It's meteorology, people, not rocket science.

Failing that, the names we're coming up with here seem to suggest we're running low on good ones. Why not switch to car models? Or would Ford sue the NWS if Hurricane Escape wiped out the Florida Keys? Perhaps the concern is that, if a Category 5 hurricane named Yugo were aimed straight at Mobile, everybody would just laugh and not evacuate.

But what happens if, in these strange and climatologically shifting times, we run all the way through the alphabet during a single hurricane season, and (taking a page from Excel's workbook) have to start over again with AA? Hurricane Aaron is perfectly respectable, but all the others would have to be named after Welshmen.

And the way things are looking, they'll have tropical storm action of their own to worry about.

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3 Comments:

At August 04, 2008 9:39 PM, Anonymous dreadpir8roberts said...

Cheryl's Bitch will back me up on this. NOAA only uses 21 letters of the alphabet. Guess there aren't a large selection of names starting with "Q", "U", "X", "Y", and "Z".

NOAA actually pre-names the storms years in advance. I can't wait until 2009, myself.

The 2005 season was the most active Hurricane season in recorded history and they actually ran out of names. When that happens, they go to the Greek Alphabet.

 
At August 04, 2008 10:18 PM, Blogger Cheryl's BITCH! said...

Yes dreadpir8roberts is correct and I will make my fury in 2012.
My momma just had that storm named after her 2 weeks ago. That was kinda fun but I don't think Dolly is a nickname for Dorothy.
Oh yeah and after the names are exhausted, it goes into the Greek alphabet.

 
At August 05, 2008 7:48 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Ugh! Weather nerds.

 

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