Sing It

Being brought up by opera buffs is just like being raised by wolves. Well, except that it's not as furry and you have indoor plumbing. Also, you get to go to the opera sometimes.

I've been reading through this book of opera anecdotes (it's called Opera Anecdotes) and there are plenty of familiar stories. There's the one where, due to a staging error, the swan boat in Lohengrin gets sent onstage without Lohengrin aboard. The singer turns to the stagehand and inquires, "What time's the next swan?"

And there are tales of the epic squabbles between great sopranos and great tenors, who are actually enemies in the wild, so it's kind of a mistake to cast them in romantic pairings the way operas generally do. They shove each other, slap each other, attempt to outsing each other, occasionally even bite each other, etc. during productions. And there are all the myriad stories that are sure to crop up anywhere there's an intense concentration of theatrical egos: the power struggles, the put-downs, the standoffs, the temper tantrums. It's so glamorous!

But here's a great one I had never heard before - from a printed program for a Houston Opera production of Verdi's Otello. The company was allowing sponsors maybe a little too much leeway in the placement of their ads, and this one was interspersed with the lines of the plot summary:

Othello arrives and greets the people with the words:

USE CRISCO, THE BEST SHORTENING

"Rejoice! The Turk is vanquished and drowned in the sea."

CRISCO IS UNSURPASSED

Iago, jealous of Cassio, who enjoys Othello's confidence, tries to get Cassio drunk. A drinking song

CRISCO HAS NO RIVAL

is heard and Cassio, by now intoxicated, attacks Montano. Othello rushes in and calls out:

CRISCO IS ECONOMICAL

...and so on to the end of the summary:

After Othello has strangled Desdemona, he plunges his dagger into his breast and sings the touching phrase:

ASK ONLY FOR CRISCO,
THE WORLD'S FAVORITE SHORTENING

"Kiss me, kiss me again!" He dies. End of the opera.

You gotta love a book that makes you feel cultured and sophisticated while you pee yourself laughing.

And it has nostalgia value, too! My stepfather told a lot of these stories when I was growing up. And to this day I can't hear a Jussi Björling recording without imagining my stepfather singing along, swept away in the unbridled passion of the music, at the top of his lungs...

Aaaaaawwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!