Top Ten Reasons Not To Go To Work Today

10. I'm the only person in my section who hasn't taken any, let alone multiple, sick/"sick of work" days this year.

9. The rain will mess up my expensive hairdo.

8. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.

7. Nobody brought cake today.

6. The kids are all at school - no TV, no radio, no muss, no fuss!

5. The complex interchange at the intersection of I-37 and US-77 confuses and frightens me.

4. The cafeteria coffee sucks.

3. My apartment is clean.

2. I am too disoriented by the sudden sub-90-degree temperatures to be able to find my way to the office.

... and the Number One reason to stay home from work today:

1. Romeo and Peach aren't heavy enough to hold the bed down on their own.