Friday, August 25, 2006

Alas, Pluto! We Hardly Remembered Ye

Being demoted from "planet" to "dwarf planet" has to smart a little bit, don't you think? Oh snap! Oh no you didn't!

The main discussion I've heard regarding the redesignation is how to come up with a new mnemonic device to fit the revamped solar system. At lunch today we more or less agreed on "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos" instead of, say, "Nine Pizzas" (or "Pies"); however, if you have abusive parents, it could be "My Very Egregious Mother Just Served Us Nails" (or maybe "Narwhal").

One friend of mine had a much funnier, very surreal mnemonic device he learned from a classmate in high school, but I don't remember what it was, which must automatically disqualify it.

Sometimes Pluto's orbit falls inside Neptune's. Were we supposed to use a different sentence then? Really, if you need a reason to knock a planet like an opponent's croquet ball right out of the Solar system, I think the inability to make a consistently correct mnemonic device about it has to be a major one. "Martha Vilifies Eagles Madly Jousting Several Ugly Purple Neanderthals"? "Mom's Viscous Eggnog Makes Jeffrey Spew Under Pope's Nipples"? "Millions Vacate Estonia, Mostly Jugglers, So Uzbekhistan Pushes Northward"?

To hell with Pluto. We're clearly better off without it.

3 Comments:

At August 25, 2006 10:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO!

"Mini Vans Eat Men Just So U Need Plutonium" is what I was told by Michelle Shoemake in Mr. Story's high school geography class. It stuck all these years. But I'll be damned if I don't love the Uzbekistan Jugglers!

However, I also would like to propose, "Many Virile Elephants Make Jock Straps Un Necessary," "Many Very Elegant Maidens Justify Slinking Under Nightfall," "Masochistic Vixens Easily Make Jackrabbits Squeal Uncontrollably, Nightly," "Many Various Earners May Just Show Us Narcolepsy," and my personal favorite (ah, if only we still had Pluto), "My Virgin Ex Matt Just Sucked Ur Nice Pole."

 
At August 26, 2006 12:12 AM, Blogger Beth said...

1) Do I want to know how virile elephants would make jockstraps unnecessary? I probably don't; 2) Many Very Elegant Maidens always have, so this is nothing particularly new; 3) this is just plain sick, and possibly the funniest thing I have ever read; 4) we all know who you're talking about; and 5) I've got nothing, I'm just spraying my wine all over my computer, thanks.

I think if all our friends pooled our mnemonic-device-generating resources, we could very well take over the world.

 
At August 26, 2006 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll drink to that!

 

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