Kill Your Television

I heard a sentence on an MTV reality show today that somehow (I don't know how), someday (I don't know when), as God as my witness, I am going to work into a day-to-day conversation.

"If I can't have a snake for my entrance, it will ruin everything!!"

So here's my challenge: I need to create a totally different, new persona for myself among all my acquaintance. I must gradually, over the course of many long months, change my behavior, acting so convincingly that I can bring everyone I know to the point where I can plausibly utter that sentence and they will think it is perfectly normal.* It could take more than months, it could conceivably take years.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a slave to my muse. We start tonight!

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*"Normal" being a somewhat problematic term here.