Monday, February 20, 2006

I'll Always Have Bob Jones

Wait a minute - what year is this again? 2006?!?

Ah do declare, Ah have a high school 20-year reunion coming up this summer.

If they can find me, that is. Did I mention I went to Bob Jones High School, Bob Jones HS, in Madison, Alabama, Madison, AL, Class of 1986, Class of '86, Class of 86?

Not for nothing did I work in Internet marketing for two years.

My high school was NOT named for renowned nutcase Bob Jones, thankyouverymuch. No, my high school was named for a long-time U.S. Representative. He spoke at our commencement ceremonies. I'd planned to conclude this paragraph by quipping that he was a much less renowned nutcase, but according to the link I'm posting he seems to have been, actually, fairly progressive. So how about that.

The school building pictured in the link above is handsome, isn't it? That's not where I went. We were located in a prefabricated metal warehouse shell of a building on Hughes Road - 1301 if I remember correctly, which I probably don't - next to the old Hughes farmhouse. Madison was still mostly cotton fields then.

The building had some partitions inside, but almost no actual rooms. Around the edges, you could see that the metal shell was slightly larger than the carpeted concrete slab that was our floor. A little grass grew in, and occasionally some little crawly thing would find its way in and put the boys' teenaged chivalry to the test. (Teenaged chivalry has always consisted largely of squashing things.) The building didn't have any windows, but I suspect that was less due to educational philosophy at the time it was built (that an outside view would distract students) and more because they would have cost extra money to put in.

Oddly, the JROTC department had rooms: two classrooms and an office. Being armed certainly has its advantages... Many of us kids took JROTC. My best friend Amy and I did it to get out of PE, not because we were all that averse to physical activity, but because the girls' PE teacher would have made your average grizzled drill sergeant wet his pants and beg for Mommy. (Ms. H., if you're reading this, I really hope you take it as a compliment. I'm pretty sure that's the effect you were going for.)

Anyway, if you were a girl, JROTC was basically free period. For most of the year the boys did all the army-type stuff and the girls helped the lieutenant colonel out with paperwork. A charming, dapper man, our Lt. Col., but not what you'd call a raving feminist.

The sergeant was a witty, witty man. One day during class he was overcome with his muse and began walking around the room making bon mots about the last names of the students. "We got a Small - we need a large. We got a Kitchens - we need a bathroom. We got a Holloway - we need a stairway."

The poor man really needed a blog.

Well, I'm psyched as anything and can't wait for the festivities! But mercy me! Ah have just absolutely nothing to wear!

My taste in interior decor runs more to white muslin sheers than heavy green velvet draperies. That should make for an interesting reunion.


At February 22, 2006 11:25 PM, Anonymous Starla said...

My 10th grade PE coach did the same thing with last names. The bastard. "Not black, not grey, not orange but..." My soul died a little more every time I had to reply "White."

At least I wasn't named Fair. "Scrawny, ugly, homely, not..." Poor girl.


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