How to Sexually Harass Humans: Some Pointers

I've just spent two days in new employee orientation and I have to say - do you ever wonder about Human Resources? I can't help but think they haven't quite got the human thing down. Maybe they should change the name of the department to Martian Resources and be done with it.

Just look at these pictures from a brochure on workplace sexual harassment:


Am I seriously missing something here? You know, for years I've dreaded passing construction sites. I never dreamed that all I had to do was give the construction workers a taste of their own medicine (and for anyone who doesn't know what I look like, the chick on the left is clearly me).

Or perhaps I've misinterpreted the situation here. Maybe these two women have sensitively observed that their male coworker is a little down in the dumps today, so they're calling out words of encouragement to him.*



Of course, not all workplace unpleasantness is sexual in nature. There's a reason I keep a tin of Altoids on my desk.



This guy clearly has never seen Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Trading sexual favors for monetary rewards is a zany laugh riot and you never end up actually having to sleep with anyone you don't want to.

And frankly, with his fashion sense, he's lucky anyone's interested. A blue bow tie? I mean, really?!?



Sexual harassment is the least of this woman's problems. Unless she's in a quid-pro-quo situation where her boss has told her she only gets a computer if she puts out.

I guess maybe that's a common situation on whatever planet Human Resources is from.

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*Such as "Hubba hubba!" and "Hey, baby! How much for a mustache ride?"