RICE

My boss broke her pinky toe this weekend. Well, more to the point, her dog broke it for her, tripping her up with its leash.

You see why I'm a cat person?

So she was hobbling around yesterday, moving slowly; her toe was a little bit swollen and discolored, and she was thinking of going to the doctor. My cube neighbor and I, both proud graduates of our agency's first aid training class, were suggesting she should RICE it. You know what that stands for, right?

If you do, could you let me know?

We need some kind of mnemonic device to remind us what the letters in RICE stand for. The first thing that popped into my head was "Relax, Invigorate, Chill and Enjoy" and I don't think that's right. Or perhaps you're meant to Ridicule the afflicted part, Isolate it from other body parts so they won't be corrupted, Chastise it for being so Careless, and finally Eject it from your body altogether, just to teach it a lesson. More kindly, perhaps it's Rinse, Idolize, Caress and Educate. Or maybe you'd be better off just sticking a bag of rice on the injured part. Or administering CPR. I remember how to do that!

I don't think I'm getting a merit raise any time soon.