Monday, January 14, 2008

Top 20 Things To Do Before You Die

20. Dance like no one is watching.

19. Sing like nobody is listening.

18. Live like there is no tomorrow, though I should warn you, this can be self-fulfilling if you're not careful.

17. Get into a lengthy argument about minimalism with an escaped mental patient who thinks he's Louis XIV.

16. Lead a singlong of "Kumbaya" at a biker bar.

15. Eat lutefisk. Or maybe fugu. Or a nice salmon steak, that would be tasty.

14. Make a drunken spectacle of yourself at the wedding of someone you've never met.

13. Have every possible combination of three-way, preferably all during the course of one evening. (If you play your cards right, this could come about as a natural result of #14.)

12. Start to save someone's life, then change your mind and let them die.

11. Host a PBS special.

10. Heckle the keynote speaker at a management seminar.

9. Have a venereal disease named after you.

8. Found a religion.

7. Skinnydip in candiru-infested waters.

6. Multiple orgasms. You might want to do this one a few times, and probably before you do #7.

5. Attend an Ivy League university.

4. Get kicked out of a Gwar concert for disorderly behavior.

3. Urinate on something/someone famous. (See #6)

2. Ether.

And the number one thing to do before you die...

1. Invent immortality.

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At January 15, 2008 9:45 AM, Blogger Tommy Korioth said...


Great article. Great writing. I’m sorry I haven’t hit your blog earlier. I loved your list. Now I’m going to have to put up my own - hope you don’t mind if I pilfer some of your ideas. I particularly love how you started your list: 20. Dance like no one is watching & 19. Sing like nobody is listening. I also like number 10. And number 1. Which reminds me of what Woody Allen said, “I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

I also liked your differing points of view article. I love a good conspiracies.

Keep up the good work.

I’m putting a link to your blog on my blogs:


Fellow Austinite

T. Korioth


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