Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The "Third Floor"

I work on the second floor of my building, but there is in fact a third floor.

You look shocked. But it's true! There really is!

The elevators in the middle of the building, and the stairwell on the east side, go up to 3. The other stairwells and the other elevator do not. I don't know anyone who works on this so-called "third floor," if that is indeed its real name.

It's not, perhaps, a complete mystery, in that the third floor is where Robbie once encountered (while hidden, trembling with suppressed hilarity, in a bathroom stall) the "Menomena" urinal whistler who was able to break wind in perfect time*; though I have to admit, this probably raises more questions than it answers. (Such as, "Is that really how you're supposed to spell Menomena?" YouTube users seem to be in some disagreement regarding this issue.)

Rarely you see someone coming down from the third floor. They seem normal enough, which right there puts them several rungs higher on the evolutionary ladder than many of the people who work on my floor. But what's up there? What can it possibly be like??

It's ridiculous that I've worked in this building for over a year and a half and have no idea. I think it's time to do some corporate exploration. Unfortunately Robbie is currently off studying local bathroom behavior in the uncharted wilds of Florida, so I'll probably have to go on my own.

I hope the natives are friendly.

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*To this day I have my suspicions.

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