Loose Laps Sink Chaps

They tell us not to gossip in the workplace. Do they tell you that? I think every place I've ever worked, they tell you not to gossip - even though the management who's telling you this is generally the worst culprit.

"There's absolutely no truth to the rumors that all of you will be let go because we're phasing out the software that you work on," our section director assured us in a surprise meeting this morning. "So nobody spread that."

We're all getting let go?? What??? First I'd heard of it!

I like our section director. She seems to have a pretty firm grasp on reality, including the fact that the people who write and implement the software we work with, the people who handle seating and placement logistics for our section, and the people who hired those ever-present, never-attentive security guards on constant and useless patrol outside our work area are, as she put it, "a bunch of orangutans." I suspect orangutans would have done a better job; but who am I to argue with senior management?

One of today's highlights was the gift of a slightly naughty magnetic word poetry set from my Colorado-bound friend b.r. I can get myself in a fair bit of trouble with that one, oh yes, oh yes I can. I don't mind, as long as I get a little help from my friends. I have it set up on a magnetic surface that is only visible from the inside of my cubicle, looking out.

I plan to use it to spell out preposterous workplace rumors and see which ones take root and make the rounds of the office. Who's in?