Family Values

I sure am glad we have the GOP to uphold them for us, aren't you? They've done a magnificent job of reviving the lost art of torture, dismantling that pesky Bill of Rights (except of course the right to bear arms) and the tiresome old system of checks and balances that has kept our government boringly stable for over two hundred years. They've never lost sight of the fact that sex education doesn't belong in schools - it belongs in Congress. Because they are nothing if not thorough, they've killed off more Americans in a war that's been shown to actually foster terrorism than died in the attacks of 9/11. And with deep and abiding loyalty, they've handed over the economy and the environment to the corporate interests who got them into office.

They set a shining example for us all. I hope you liberal gay pinko commie abortion-mongering divorced adulterous perverted welfare cheats who refuse to pray in school are thoroughly ashamed of yourselves.