We Got Trouble. Right Here in River City!

With a capital T, and that rhymes with - well, no, actually it doesn't rhyme with J, which stands for "Justin's replacement started today and is a strikingly attractive young woman."

I'd make a lousy lyricist.

An attractive woman working at our agency is not a problem in and of itself, of course. It's just that this particular position requires working very closely with the least progressive, most male chauvinist, horn-doggiest, most obstreperous, stickiest-eyed old perv of a reprobate that I've yet met working for the state. I call him "Dreamboat."

But Dreamboat's overt sexism is only one of many characteristics that make him difficult to work with, to the point where I wonder if his (much younger) manager was being cagey in hiring such a pretty woman. I'm not saying that as a reflection on her qualifications, but I think it's exceedingly likely that Dreamboat will behave inappropriately enough to her to get himself into some serious trouble. And you can't collect field data working from home. I'm wondering if somebody didn't feel like waiting for Dreamboat to retire.

By an astonishing coincidence, T also doesn't rhyme with F, which stands for the "Fajita Cookoff, which takes place this Friday, and for which I have been 'volunteered' to be on a team despite the fact that I really can't cook." Our manager has been hounding our lead worker to form a team ever since the cookoff was announced, so today he walked around and rounded up five of us hapless souls. Satisfied with his efforts, he emailed our manager (copying the rest of us) that he had succeeded in collecting a team: our branch will participate in the cookoff, hoorah! The day is saved!

She wrote back inquiring whether there would also be live music. There's just no pleasing some people.

Now we just need a team name. It's supposed to incorporate the initials of our branch, District Data Support. Post a comment! Go crazy! Of course, as the saying goes, you don't have to be crazy to work here - but you will be.

Crazy starts with a C and that rhymes with T and that stands for Trouble.