Saturday, April 15, 2006

Marketing: It's a Shame

I just read a known spam email from my bulk folder because I was so intrigued by the subject line:

"This is the most modern and safe way not to cover with shame"

It turned out to be an unusually articulate and correctly-spelled pitch for (surprise!) erectile dysfunction treatment. I'm pretty sure that at this point, ED is the single greatest problem facing humanity.

Do you remember when, just a few years ago, the worst thing that could possibly happen to you was yellow teeth? You can still buy whitening treatments, of course, but the marketing blitz surrounding the products has subsided. For a while there, if you based your perception of reality on TV commercials,* you'd think that having slightly yellowed teeth meant you should give up any hope of ever having a love life, a job, or any semblance of a normal existence, and just go live in a cave. Thank God for Crest WhiteStrips. They saved us right in the nick of time.

Twenty-five years or so earlier, I recall that ring-around-the-collar was perhaps the greatest social humiliation ever visited upon mankind. Whatever happened to that? You never hear about ring-around-the-collar anymore, never!

Dandruff was huge for a while, remember? And failing to munch down on Certs used to have the people around you turning green and fainting from instant asphyxiation.

Of course, I have to admit, ED is probably a bit worse than yellow teeth; many men might not, but I'll bet most women have at least some up-close-and-personal experience with it. And no, it's not a heck of a lot of fun. Still, I can't help thinking that the "cover with shame" bit is just a smidge harsh.

Because, you know, it really doesn't matter, honey. Don't worry about it. There's always next time...

*Not recommended.


At April 15, 2006 5:14 PM, Blogger Bill D said...

"Because, you know, it really doesn't matter, honey. Don't worry about it. There's always next time..."

But I'm so ashamed!

At April 15, 2006 5:52 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Who's giving the milkshake lessons now?

Say my name, beeYOTCH!

At April 16, 2006 2:52 AM, Blogger Bill D said...

There, I said your name.

And, now, I go back to sleep.


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