Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Don't Get Paid to Write This

Okay, my virtual friends, I need some help here.

My coworkers and I planned the October and November safety meetings with great success. In October we did rail safety. We had someone from the Federal Railroad Administration come in and do a presentation on how to stay off the railroad tracks, you dumbass, don't you know there's a train coming?!

Then he gave us all key rings.

In November we did weather hazards. Jim Spencer from KXAN Weather did a presentation how not to get sucked up by tornadoes, struck by lightning, or drowned in floodwaters. One of my coworkers knows him, and he very generously agreed to come and speak for us - at the ungodly hour of 8am, too. Wasn't that nice of him?

All that's left to do is December, and for December I was going to have the snake guy. To recap quickly, the snake guy was going to be really cool, but my supervisor freaked out a little bit and managed to get the Legal Department to refuse to tell us in writing that his presentation (which he gives for elementary schools by the way) didn't constitute a workplace hazard, so we couldn't go ahead with it and now I have nothing. December was supposed to be the best one, too.

I tentatively have "holiday safety" set as the topic. But I'm drawing a blank. I have no one lined up and no ideas here. I'm supposed to have all the information for the official memo to go out by Monday. What do I do?!? Help!!!

I'm so stressed out about it, I had to call in sick.

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8 Comments:

At November 15, 2007 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make the PM do it ALL. Assign it as a task with a ridiculous deadline. It’s about time she...or he does something! She...or he will probably fail and you'll all get a good laugh out of it :-) You want to be Merry for the holidays don't you?

HO HO HO ... sorry, HA HA HA (government regulations now prohibit Santas from saying the word HO)

 
At November 15, 2007 9:56 PM, Anonymous b.r. said...

The Prime Minister? Party Man? Papier Mache? Oh, PANIC MONGER!

I don't know, I can't think of anything that would beat the snake guy.

 
At November 16, 2007 3:59 AM, Anonymous deb said...

We actually had a person come to our office and talk about bats. I would think that would be safer than snakes.

Another session we did was "back" up training. It was because our field guys kept backing into some pretty important stuff - like power line poles, cars, people.

To this day, I still back up the way they taught us.

I'm so very lame. Especially at 4am.

 
At November 16, 2007 7:12 AM, Anonymous Sara S. said...

at lcra we had "ladder safety," which I thought was horribly irrelevant. Then another time we had "infectous disease" (SARS) safety. The final bad one was what to do if a dog attacks you. It was a video that had meter readers in defense mode. My point is you can't do worse than these. I would go with agressive driving and find someone who had their car rammed in the walmart parking lot during christmas shopping.

 
At November 16, 2007 1:39 PM, Blogger Thomas said...

Little Jimmy came and did a presentation.

Small world. I used to work with Jim at KTEN in north texas. I had forgotten he went to Austin.

TV

 
At November 16, 2007 9:01 PM, Blogger Noemi said...

Do you have to have someone actually speak? Maybe you could just show clips from all of the Mythbusters episodes where they tested holiday stuff, you know like the one deep frying turkeys and the way too damn many lights on a christmas tree one.

 
At November 17, 2007 9:59 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Thanks for all the suggestions - well, except for "anonymous," who knows perfectly well that the PM doesn't do anything. That's the whole point of being the PM! Sheesh.

I especially like the Mythbusters idea, but yesterday I just contacted the DPS and a trooper will come out and tell us all not to drive like boneheads. It's not snakes, but eh. I'm done!

 
At November 17, 2007 10:31 AM, Anonymous b.r. said...

Good suggestions. I love the one about the Walmart car-ramming incident, though "bats" would certainly be relevant considering you work within sniffing distance of the world's largest urban bat colony.

 

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