Sunday, August 24, 2008

'Tis the Season

Hurricanes are exactly like tennis balls, in that the west coast of Africa launches them at us, one after another, faster than we can hit them back.

Except that the west coast of Africa doesn't launch tennis balls. Okay, let's say that the west coast of Africa is just like a tennis ball machine, in that it launches hurricane after hurricane towards the Gulf... only tennis ball machines don't launch hurricanes.

The Gulf of Mexico is just like a tennis player, and Florida is the racquet, except that even when we parry a hurricane just right, we still don't angle a masterful shot and send it careening back across the Atlantic into Côte d'Ivoire, drawing a hushed murmur of appreciation and smattering of polite applause from the crowd.

And of course they aren't hurricanes when they're launched, so it's more as if the tennis ball machine were firing off bits of rubber and yellow flocking, which didn't even form into tennis balls until they had already made it past our defenses. Pretty poor sportsmanship, if you ask me.

June through November is just like a tennis match, only not anywhere near as long.



At August 25, 2008 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about those "hurricanes" that originate in the Gulf or Caribbean? Who the heck hits those off? Tennis balls can't just appear out of thin air. Physics doesn't allow it. I think we have a spy on our hands. It may be one of those European island territories.

At August 25, 2008 8:52 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Where's a weather nerd when I need one??


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