Nothing Personal

Guys, when I'm out walking on the hike-and-bike, I don't mind being hit on, really I don't.

But must you do it while wearing those shorts?!?!?

I enjoy browsing through the subject lines in my spam filter; I always feel it offers a lot of insight into the collective conscious. What's on our minds? What do we dream of? What do we dread? A couple of years ago we were all about day-trading tips, but lately the focus seems to be on cheap imitation luxury items. Naturally there are very sound socioeconomic reasons for this.

But while topics come and go, the inadequacy of the male sexual organ never goes out of style. Without question, those are always my favorite subject lines. "Works so good, you will put your eye out" got several of my cube neighbors to gather around, inquiring what the sprayed coffee and hooting were all about. The one I saw this morning was not as adorable, but raised (sorry!) an interesting question.

"Your new bigger package will be a deal-clincher!" it said. Now, questionable attire on the hike-and-bike trail aside, I've always kind of assumed that by the time a girl finds out what the size of your package is, the deal is already clinched - isn't it?? Or are there women who will, after liking a guy so much that they'll go home with him, get friendly, and be all ready to get busy, suddenly glance down and say, "Oh. Never mind"?

Maybe there are, I don't know, but that seems awfully rude.

Anyway, all I really wanted to say about that is that it's interesting to me to see that same topic come up again and again (sorry!!) in my spam filter. Honestly, guys, really. Penis size is the least (sorry!!!) of your worries!

No. It's the way you dress that's keeping you down.